Monday, October 25, 2010

For What It Is Worth

For what it is worth, I think I was offered a job today. At least I came home thinking that I had been offered a job. Later, the job offerer came to my door and gave me her business card and said that she couldn't print the job responsibilities, but she would email me.

The moments tick by. . . .

Still no email.

For what it is worth, I reached my hand of forgiveness out today to someone who, I think, needs to feel that everything is going to be okay - in spite of the fact that they have wronged me. Hey! I can be forgiving. It was only money. It was only something that I was looking forward to. It was only something that I had saved for. It was only something that, in my imagination, was going to complete an invented process that was going to make enough money for me to retire on easy street.

Now, it is also turned into a rescue. Now I will feel even worse if I file for resolution through PayPal. Now the thirty some-odd dollars I get back from PayPal will haunt me as I conjure up images of the seller huddling in the corner of her dirty little hovel sobbing.

For what it is worth, I have suffered more today from ocular migraines that in the past 6 months all combined. I have had at least 4 episodes, but am better now. No episodes since about 2p.

For what it is worth, I still have a car full of boxes filled with fragments of my life waiting to be cleaned and priced for a yard sale this approaching weekend. Could that be another emotional trap? Are their things lurking inside those boxes that will create a firestorm of uncontrolled blubbering? Surely not.